Episode 32: The Doktor's Laws of Good BDSM

These Laws are based on my extensive personal experiences, and also from noting the waning and waxing popularity of various other guidelines and rules meant to preserve the practicality and humanity of this thing we call BDSM, Kink, or Fetish. (Or more precisely, how catchy we think the resulting acronym is.) I have concluded these as my personal Laws. Therefore, these Laws need only apply to those persons who have equal or greater levels of intelligence, charisma, skill, sensitivity and quality of personal hygiene. ...oh yeah, a little humility doesn't hurt either.

The Laws

1.) I am the Dominant, it's all my fault.

2.) I am the Dominant, I make the rules.

3.) You are the submissive, you make the choices.

4.) You are the submissive, you have to tell me. (I only pretend to be a mind reader.)

5.) It's the fun stupid.

Some notes on these Laws

On the Order of The Laws:

The order in which the Laws are listed is merely for emphasis, all the Laws are of equal importance. Also, it's fun to quiz your submissive on the order, constantly switch the first two no matter what answer they give, and spank them soundly for not remembering.

On Exceptions:

None. Not happening. No exceptions ever. It's not the Ten Commandments, Sharia Law, or even The Dietary Requirements of the Buddha that are the source of all misery on this planet; it's the little exceptions people keep trying to inject. e.g., "Thou shalt not kill... unless it's an infidel of course, or a menstruating woman who ventures outside the red tent, or say some poor shmoe that hit a sacred cow with his Toyota pick-up."

On Titular Semantics:

Wherein the terms Dominant and submissive do not apply for any reason whatsoever, transpose the appropriate terms as desired. e. g., Dominant may be replaced with Top, Mistress, Master, Goddess, Mommy, Daddy, Doctor, Grandpa, Bubbie, Lord, Lady, Excellency, Majesty, Darth Sidius, Your Holiness, or (my personal favorite) Grand High Poo Bah. And yes, submissive and slave are interchangeable as well, if you can't get that, please get a life.

On Interpretation of the Laws:

If you feel these Laws need to be explained or elaborated on in any way, please consider taking an adult literacy class. The Laws are simple, all encompassing, and brutally straightforward for a reason. And that reason is that lawyers already have enough money and influence; fuck 'em, this is one set of Laws they should keep their hands off.


***This was written by my good friend, Doktor Spankentsein***